Fuel for the Fire

It isn’t a matter of if we will suffer loss, but when.

Loss is a fact of life. We all lose something. Whether we lose a business, friendship, lover, career, spouse, parent, child, or fortune we all lose at some point. Sometimes in the deepest, scariest, darkest places of loss we feel as though we cannot go on. We think we cannot live without that something or someone we feel was so vital to us. Maybe we feel that something or someone defined our existence, our joy, our reason for being. The pain and anguish of loss can be and is devastating. I mean really, there aren’t 7 stages of grief (shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance) for no reason, right? It’s a real thing and far too often I meet people who move from their loss to denial and begin internalizing the balance until they are unable to envision success let alone function at a high level.

My hope is to be part of the solution.

Whenever I suffer a loss at a level that shakes me to my core, spoken or unspoken, I mourn the loss for what it was. If I begin with the end in mind and accept the loss as a loss I am more quickly able to move to my next step - reflection. I take some time and reflect on what was lost and envision it as my most beloved childhood tree - fallen and laying shattered on the ground. I see it as the tree I had in my backyard growing up where I loved spending endless hours laughing, playing, and dreaming. I remember all of the great things about what I lost and why it is so significant and why I feel the vacancy of its presence which allows me to move to action. All of the positive energy generated from those memories and all of the warmth and comfort created through visualizing that beloved tree are then used as fuel to burn my fire for where I am going and what I am doing.  Hotter and brighter than ever before. That loss is now the fuel for my next step. For me, I am drawn to the heat and power of a fire and I want mine, the one I exude, to be as strong and as bright as a Phoenix rising. When I use my losses as fuel for my next step, having mourned and accepted them, I become unstoppable.

There is no greater remedy for the depths of loss than the heights of success.